Press Release 06 August 2024

The Retreat Clinics commit to ongoing Autism, ADHD and mental health support following August Council planning meeting

The Retreat Clinics are pleased to announce continuing support for people seeking counselling, psychotherapy and autism & ADHD assessments, following approval for the proposed development of the Retreat Hospital site by specialist property developer and restorer P J Livesey at the York Council planning committee meeting on August 1st.

The Retreat Clinics has worked closely with P J Livesey and the development will see the original Retreat buildings back in use, with the beautiful grounds accessible to enjoy by the whole community.

Ruth Dixon, the Retreat Clinics Chief Executive, said: “We are delighted to know that the building and grounds will be cared for and maintained.  As a charity founded in York in 1792, we will continue to work with Autism, ADHD and mental health; we’d like to be in York for another 228 years!”

The Retreat Clinics continues to offer mental health support and autism and ADHD assessments for children, young people and adults from the Tuke Centre on the same site as the original hospital, as well as online and from Hampden House in Manchester.  After stopping inpatient services in 2018, the larger Grade 2* listed site was no longer needed, and The Retreat was keen that the history of the original building should be honoured.

The Retreat was the first organisation in the world to offer moral treatment for people with mental health issues, treating its patients with respect and dignity.  It’s world history for York to feel proud of.

Dealing With Relationship Problems

Whether you have been in a relationship for a year or twenty years, one thing is guaranteed, at some point you will face challenges together that can either draw you closer together or pull you apart. Each relationship may have differing challenges and each relationship must find their own solution/s to navigate those challenges. Some of these challenges might be internally driven within the relationship and others come from outside of the relationship. These challenges will come in differing shapes and sizes too, for example life changes such as redundancy, childbirth or retirement might be significant experiences to negotiate, but so too are affairs, health problems, wider family involvement and financial matters. Life has a way of plunging us into difficult situations and you, and your partner/s, may feel left to sink or swim. It is therefore very important to learn how to respond to these challenges and, as a couple/triad/throuple, be able to work together to try and resolve them in a healthy way.

Holidays can be a challenging period for relationships. This could be due to multiple reasons such as being alone together, bad weather, having family visit, or simply the strain emotionally and financially to produce a holiday experience that everyone is happy with. Ultimately however, for many people who are in a relationship, especially if it is long-term, the last thing you want is for it to break down irreparably. 

Our Couples Therapy and Psychosexual Therapy team at The Retreat Clinics, offer here some simple tips for talking through any issues you are having, with the aim of making positive changes that result in a happy, healthy relationship. 

1. Acknowledge the Issue

Be it money worries, work stress, trust or intimacy concerns, it is important to face the issue head on and acknowledge the part it is playing in your relationship. Be aware of your own feelings and ask your partner about theirs. Now is the time to bring them for discussion, so that you can work on a resolution in the coming year. Don’t procrastinate. Often problems get worse over time and therefore the sooner they are spoken about, the quick the resolution can be found. 

Intimacy concerns can be more difficult to discuss however, understanding and naming the problems now can then, in the long-term, lead to a much more fulfilling sex life. If the problems that exists relates to a sexual dysfunction e.g. Erectile dysfunction, arousal or orgasm problems, sexual pain etc, then get professional advice from your GP or a psychosexual therapy therapist. 

2. Create Time to Talk

Communication in a relationship is essential. Once you have acknowledged that there is a problem, carve out the time to talk about how you both feel. Try a change of scenery, such as taking a walk together to discuss your feelings, as it will help you to break out from your usual patterns and allow you to be more open with one another.  

Try not to get lost in the details but try to explain how the problem is affecting you, for example, rather than saying “you always leaving your things all over the house, I am not your slave and will not keep picking things up after you”, instead you could say “I’ve noticed you have left your things around the house recently and it is getting me down because I am so tired at the moment. Can we talk about this?”.    

Try and avoid defensive language, name calling or bringing up past arguments. Using “I” statements can support open dialogue, for example, rather than “you never…” instead try “I feel…”. Additionally, if the discussion becomes heated then take time out and agree a time and place to talk about it again once emotions have stabilised. 

3. Make Sure to Listen

A big part in learning how to improve communication skills in relationships is giving your partner the opportunity to explain their point of view, fully and without interruption, whatever you may wish to say. You may not agree with them, but taking the time to listen shows that you respect their feelings. You might like to repeat what you have heard them say so that you know, and they know, that you have heard them correctly. Doing so may find that they are more receptive when it is their turn to listen to you. 

Sometimes, despite your best efforts, it may feel impossible to resolve the issues by yourselves. Maybe you feel like you are ‘going round in circles’, rehashing the same old disagreements, or struggling to talk.   If this is this case, Couple’s Therapy or Psychosexual Therapy can help improve relationship communication, with the support of a trained professional who can work with you both.

Here at The Retreat Clinics, our experienced psychotherapists can help you take the steps towards reconnecting with your partner/s in a neutral and safe environment. Support is given to developing effective communication strategies and providing specific relationship advice as necessary. Couple’s Therapy and Psychosexual Therapy is available to anyone, regardless of sexual orientation or marital status. 

To find out more about how we can support your relationship get in touch through one of the following options:

www.theretreatclinics.org.uk

info@theretreatclinics.org.uk 

01904 412 551 

Clinics in York, Manchester and Online appointments available. 

The Loneliness of Grief

This blog is brought to you in collaboration with The Natalie Kate Moss Trust.

Grief can be triggered through many different experiences. Whether it be the death of a parent, child, sibling, neighbour or friend, the impact of loss can be huge. We might also have questions about how to help ourselves such as, ‘how does the grieving process work?’; ‘what is the role of grief therapy when bereaved?’; ‘is there a difference between grief therapy and grief support?’; ‘how do we know what I need?’ 

The grief that we feel during a period of mourning can manifest in numerous different ways and impact on:

• cognitive function e.g. levels of concentration, confusion,
• bodily function e.g. tightness in the chest or throat, 
• emotional function e.g. anger, anxiety.

Here at The Retreat Clinics, having supported people with various grief experiences, we understand how complex grief can be and how deeply painful grief is. Some people may feel overwhelmed by grief, have little support from others or they may feel lost in the range of emotional, physical and cognitive symptoms they are experiencing. These people may benefit from either individual grief therapy or joining a grief support group. The Retreat Clinics can provide both and welcomes all inquiries to find out more.

Individual therapy is tailored to your specific needs and can provide 1-2-1 focused emotional support for grief work. You will have a safe and confidential space to talk about and express your feelings and you will benefit from the expertise of an experienced therapist. Sessions can be open ended according to your need and can be booked to fall in line with specific trigger events such as birthdays, anniversaries, etc. 

A bereavement group, alternatively, provides two elements of support when bereaved. Firstly, this group will be facilitated by an experienced psychotherapist with extensive knowledge of grief, and they will offer both therapeutic support and provide psychoeducation to help you navigate through grief. This will aid your understanding of grief support, how to help someone who is grieving, understand the grieving process. Secondly, we know that grief can be a very isolating experience and a bereavement group is designed to be a supportive peer led space which aids self and other understanding, and this can vastly reduce the isolation individuals can experience. 

Bereavement groups consist of a maximum of eight people with similar grief experiences and meet weekly, online, for a period of five weeks. Together the group provides grief support, learning about what comforts self and others, understand the power of being there for others and active listening, in addition to learning about the grief process and normalise your own experiences. Together we can help you and you can help others. 

If you are grieving and struggling to manage the impact of your grief, get in touch now to discuss your options and how The Retreat Clinics can help.  

Announcing a New Partnership: The Retreat Clinics and The Natalie Kate Moss Trust

We are thrilled to announce an exciting new partnership that promises to enhance our commitment to mental health and wellbeing. The Retreat Clinics has joined forces with the Natalie Kate Moss Trust, a renowned organisation dedicated to preventing lifestyle related brain haemorrhages from occurring through research, education and support. The Natalie Kate Moss Trust also generate funds to support ground breaking research to treat brain haemorrhages  when they do occur.

A Shared Vision for Mental Health

At the core of this partnership lies a shared vision: to provide comprehensive and compassionate mental health services to those in need. By partnering with the Natalie Kate Moss Trust, we aim to expand our reach and impact significantly.

About The Natalie Kate Moss Trust

The Natalie Kate Moss Trust was established to honour Natalie Kate Moss’s legacy by turning personal tragedy into a powerful force for good. Their mission is focused on preventing brain haemorrhages and improving the lives of those affected by such conditions.

You can learn more about their work by visiting The Natalie Kate Moss Trust.

Men’s Mental Health Week – Where to Look For Help When You’re Struggling?

Men’s Mental Health

Men’s mental health is getting more attention – this is important, because traditionally men have felt its not ok to talk about not being ok. Ideas of what it is to ‘be a man’, to ‘man-up’, to be a ‘fighter’, to support others rather than seek help, that it’s a ‘weakness’ to feel sad or anxious, have been around a long time and have left a lot of men unable to identify when they’re struggling and access support.

Health data tells us that 1 in 4 women will struggle with a mental health issue at any one time, but only 1 in 8 men will. Is this accurate, or is it a reflection of how difficult it is for men to ask for help, or perhaps even to notice when they’re struggling? We know that men present less often to their GP than women for physical health issues, and that the stigma about mental health issues can make many men feel ashamed and fearful about asking for help. 

40% of men say it would take experiencing thoughts of suicide or self-harm for them to ask for help. This is a serious problem. Sadly, although only 36% of referrals to NHS talking therapies services are from men, 75% of all deaths by suicide are men, and suicide is the highest cause of death in men under 50. Men are also 3 times more likely than women to rely on drugs or alcohol to manage difficulties.

What does ‘be a man’ mean?

Research suggests that cultural norms about masculinity create barriers for men in noticing they are struggling with their mental health, and in seeking help. Men may feel a need for control and self-reliance, may minimize their problems and feel distrustful of caregivers, may seek privacy and tend to value being in control of their emotions. All of this makes asking for help feel uncomfortable, shameful and increases feelings of vulnerability – especially at times when they are struggling. When life events come along which challenge an idea about identity, for example being the ‘breadwinner’ or the ‘problem solver’, men may feel intense pressure and isolation.

More and more, promoters of men’s health are challenging these ideas, creating safe spaces for men to talk, and providing information and support in ways which are tailored to men. Here are a few suggestions on how to engage with the conversation around men’s mental health or look for support. There are places and people out there to talk to about how hard things are, people who understand and won’t judge or dismiss you – you’re not on your own.

As well as these sources of support, if you are struggling with mental health difficulties, talking to your GP is an important first step. If you feel you are in crisis, your safety is the priority – call 999 or go to A&E if you’re able.

Charities and support providers for men

Men’sSheds – combatting loneliness by enabling men to come together to build or repair things; many men enjoy using practical skills (carpentry, metal work, engineering etc) but may not have the space to do this at home and or might benefit from meeting other men and making connections. 

Mentell – in person support groups for men

Men Who Talk – free online support groups for men

Andy’sManClub – in-person support groups for men, meeting all over the country on Monday evenings.

Men’s Minds Matter – information and resources developed by mental health researchers and a clinician with a lot of experience supporting people in crisis.

Manup? – focused on social media activity and free events, this charity uses videos and podcasts to get conversations going about men’s mental health, sharing stories about how men who have struggled have overcome. 

Tough Enough to Care – charity working to bring conversations about mental health into traditionally male spaces such as in sports.

Tough to Talk – providing training for workplaces tailored to noticing and supporting men’s mental health. 

12^th Man – mental health training for workplaces, focusing on the trades.

Although not specifically designed for men;

Hub of Hope is a directory of mental health services across the UK 

Clic offers a safe and moderated range of forums to connect with others and to learn about mental health difficulties and how to better manage them. 

For men struggling with thoughts of suicide

There are a range of good sources of information particularly for people feeling suicidal, and for people who want to support a friend who they’re worried about. Although not exclusively designed to support men, CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably) is a great source of straightforward information, tools and resources around coping with suicidal thoughts and supporting others. The Samaritans are a 24/7 listening service for people experiencing suicidal thoughts, and SHOUT is a free 24/7 texting service supporting people who are struggling or feeling suicidal.

If you or someone you know is at immediate risk of self-harm or suicide, increasing safety is always the priority; calling emergency services, engaging the NHS’s crisis services in your area and speaking to your GP are essential steps.

Top tips and what to do if you’re struggling

Like many of the organisations listed above, at The Retreat Clinics we know that coping with emotional and psychological distress is incredibly hard and at times feels overwhelming. 

1. As mentioned above, the priority is to increase the immediate safety of the person struggling; the emergency services, A&E and NHS Crisis Support are there to help in the first instance.
2. If you feel safe, think about what can be done to help any urgent practical problems impacting on mental health (like a housing issue, or a redundancy). Talk to people around you about this and look for sources of advice and support.
3. Finally, it might be time to look at what has been going on emotionally or psychologically to bring the problem to a crisis. This might involve accessing psychological therapy, or talking to people close to you more and reassessing priorities, giving more time for self-care and connecting with others. 

In the meantime, as simplistic as it may sound, eating well, exercising and protecting your sleep are effective ways to support your mental health.

If you’re struggling with your mental health, don’t hesitate to reach out to The Retreat Clinics. Our services are available both in-person at our York and Manchester clinics, and virtually. Begin your journey towards better mental health by filling out a self-referral form at the following link: https://theretreatclinics.org.uk/adult-self-referral-form-for-general-therapies-services/.

Men’s Mental Health Week: Teenage Boy’s Mental Health

Adolescence is a critical period of development, marked by physical, emotional, and social changes. It is a time where young people are figuring out who they are and the kind of person they want to be, whilst also becoming aware of the wider context outside of their own world. 

We all know that there are a lot of difficult, scary and frustrating things happening in the world right now, but we, as adults, have more cognitive abilities to process these things. Imagine trying to navigate the challenges of 2024 whilst being a teenager!

The Hidden Struggles

Feelings associated with depression and anxiety often begin before adolescence, especially in boys. However, boys may not always recognise these emotions and, unfortunately, will often be seen as ‘angry’ or ‘naughty’.

As adolescents mature, their awareness of emotions increases. They become more independent and social. During this developmental stage, they grapple with insecurities, guilt, and the challenges of fitting in with peer groups. This can be particularly difficult for boys who are struggling with their mental health due to the societal stigma. There are lots of fantastic campaigns out there to help break down this barrier such as the clothing brand Boys Get Sad Too Official Store | Awareness Brand for Male Mental Health Issues, the support network Mentell – Men, is it time to talk? and Childline’s campaign We All Feel It | Childline. 

Recognising Symptoms

Behavioural Signs: Unlike girls, who may turn inward, research suggests that boys often express their distress outwardly. Watch for behavioural changes such as anger, irritability, or aggression.

Atypical Presentations: Depression in boys may not always appear as a persistent low mood. Instead, it might manifest as intense anger. Anxiety may not resemble panic; it could show up as procrastination or perfectionism.

What Can Parents and Caregivers Do?

Open Communication: Create a safe space for your child to express their feelings. Encourage open conversations about mental health without judgment.

Normalise Seeking Help: Teach boys that seeking professional support is a sign of strength, not weakness. Normalise therapy and counselling.

Educate: Educate boys about mental health, its importance, and available resources. Let them know they’re not alone.

Model emotional regulation: Talk about your own mental health and how you manage it.

 

If you are concerned about your child’s mental health, please contact our specialist team of expert therapists, counsellors and psychiatrists. We can often help when others can’t and are here to help you.

Impact of Long-term Health Problems on Romantic Relationships

Any health problems can negatively impact romantic relationships, but when these health problems are long-term, will be permanent or are terminal, this can have significant implications for the couple/throuple. Not only does each partner need to process their own feelings about the health problem and the effect, but they also need to establish a way of being together that is both self and other supporting. These are extremely challenging considerations to examine, and they can put the relationship under increasing strain. Some people might find themselves withdrawing whereas others become clingy and over possessive. Often these behaviours are rooted in their own early attachment experiences and these then surface and impact in the here and now.

When health problems involve surgery or invasive treatments, this can impact the way we see ourselves and others and some common experiences are:

• You may feel less attractive or less lovable. Being able to talk openly about how you feel and acknowledge any assumptions about what you believe your partner/s feels, can be an important starting point towards better understanding. Likewise, these conversations can result in practical changes and adaptations that could help move your relationship/s back into a more connected place.
• You might be treated differently by your partner/s. Partners can step into a caring role which can significantly impact on intimacy and connectivity. This is extremely painful, but once identified, a couple can restore their intimate connections through dialogue and understanding.
• Communication difficulties can emerge. Communication is vital in relationships, but communicating about the difficult things is hard. Here at The Retreat Clinics, we have a team of experienced relationship therapists who can help you examine how you communicate and then explore what changes you would like to take place. This can lead to greater connectivity with your partner/s and agreement between you of suitable ways forward, whether that be in practical steps, greater emotional connection, support managing the expectations of children or supporting ongoing physical intimacy.

Health problems can significantly impact relationships, but you do not have to struggle on alone. The Retreat Clinics is here to help you and are just a phone call away. For more information Click here 

 

Advice for parents, guardians and friends of university students.

Advice for parents, guardians and friends of university students.

Are you concerned about a student at university, who you think may be struggling? Perhaps you’ve noticed a drop in motivation, or a change in their behaviour, difficulties in sleeping or in engaging with their studies. It can be hard to know what to say or how to help, especially if you are a parent or guardian some distance away and worried about a young person during their first time living away from home.

Transition and change can be challenging.

Moving to University and engaging with degree level studies can be hard for many different reasons. Transition and change are challenging for all of us, and it is normal to struggle with unexpected feelings and reactions when going through a time of change. Students can experience anxiety or homesickness, doubts about their abilities or motivation, and the loss of their usual friendship group and support network. Making friends and adjusting to a new place may not be easy.

Parents and guardians may struggle with the change in family life too, with a young adult moving away to university. Although this is a normal phase in family life, it can be hard to adjust to the loss of being a parent to a younger child, as the relationship changes and develops. Added to this, worries about a young person who is not doing so well can be difficult to manage at a distance.

How you can help

Firstly, it might be helpful and reassuring to let the person know that you are concerned about them, reminding them that you have them in mind and that you care. In time, this might allow a space for you to offer them a different perspective on a situation.

• Talk to them about how change is unsettling, and this is normal, especially when so much around them is new to them.
• Let them know you are there, if they would like to talk, about how they are feeling generally or about anything that has happened. Let them know that you understand they may find it easier to talk about some things to someone else, and you would like to help them do this.
• Encourage them to express their worries in whichever way they find easiest, perhaps by writing them down or talking to you or a friend, so that they can better describe to themselves what they’re finding hard. They might find these things can then be approached step-by step, or can be prioritized, which may help them feel less overwhelmed.
• Ask them to think about how they have managed other challenges before, or what they would say to a friend in their situation who is struggling.
• Encourage them to spend time with others, in whichever way they enjoy most, as this can make a big difference to how we feel. You might help them find out about clubs or other student activities.
• Help them find out about student union and student support services, which can provide a safe space for mental health and emotional support, for general advice and help with many aspects of student life, and for help linking up with local services if needed. You might ask if they would like you to talk to their academic tutor or help them to do so.
• Outside of University support, you might suggest that they check out online support for young people such as Young Minds and The Mix – Essential support for under 25s. It could also be helpful to encourage them to register with a local GP or medical practice, so that they can access further support if needed.

 

What to do if you are seriously concerned about a young person’s mental health

If you are very concerned, for whatever reason, about a young person at University.

• Suggest that they tell others how they are feeling. Encourage them to seek support with both the University and with a local GP. You could help them to find contact information for student support or local NHS services.
• Share with them the contact details for NHS mental health crisis support services in their area, so that they have these just in case, should they ever need them.
• If the person lives on campus, find out the contact details for the University security team, and contact them if you believe the person is in serious difficulty or at risk of harm.

At any time, if you are concerned about the person being at imminent risk of life-threatening harm, call emergency services on 999.

Looking after your own wellbeing

It can be hard to remember to look after ourselves, when we are concerned about someone else. Try to be kind to yourself and remember that this time of change may well be difficult for you and your wider family too. Try to make sure you’re not alone in supporting your young person, without support yourself, and remember that specialist and professional help is available if needed.

Organisations such as The Charlie Waller Trust offer support and advice to parents of young people struggling with their mental health.

At The Retreat Clinics, we can offer therapeutic support to students, parents, and families, and have a wide range of specialist therapies available. Our team of therapists and psychiatrists are here to help and can be accessed from our welcoming clinics in Manchester or York, or online. If you would like to book an appointment with one of our therapists Click Here

 

Express yourself with art therapy

Do you sometimes feel its difficult to really explain how you are feeling in words? There are other ways you can express how you feel…

Sometimes it’s a sound, like a sigh or a scream. Or an action that helps people understand how you are feeling, like when you cry or tense up.

Being able to express yourself using art materials can be another way to help you and others understand your feelings.

Like splashing some paint around to show you are confused or excited.

Or stamping your hands into some clay to vent your anger.

Or making marks with pens or pencils to express your frustration with something.

Or making a drawing to help you work something through which is making you anxious or sad.

Art can be a great way to express yourself; it can be a mindful experience to calm your anxiety, it can be an expressive activity to work through your problems and share with people you feel safe with.

You could see an art therapist and use art materials and making as part of the therapeutic process. Art therapy can redirect attention away from worrying thoughts which in turn can help regulate the nervous system. If this is something you are interested in for either your self or your child, please contact the Retreat Clinics.

Group Therapy for 11- 14 year olds at our Manchester Clinic