Expert by Experience, Ronnie Pinder, discusses autism and the pandemic

A week before the UK went into “lockdown” I was in a large supermarket, struggling to catch my breath but still masking my anxiety from the people around me. When I say around me I mean surrounding, several deep and all scrambling for the last few items on the shelves. Panic buying has taken hold and social distancing is a term that hasn’t quite yet entered everyday vocabulary. I struggle at the best of times in supermarkets due to sensory difficulties, an unfortunate co-morbidity that often comes with being autistic. My brain often struggles to filter sounds so I hear everything and at full volume. I struggle even more with visual senses, often becoming dizzy, nauseous and disorientated. But today is far worse than anything I’ve ever experienced. The panic attacks, which I’ve had under reasonable control for some time, are now coming in waves. I can feel myself becoming detached from reality and I’m acutely aware that an autistic shutdown is rapidly approaching. Once I’m back home, in my safe space, I can try to relax. But that’s difficult. I can lock myself away in a quiet room for several hours to help my senses recover but I can’t escape the anxiety and fear. I’m fully aware that everyone is scared and anxious but we autistics can take anxiety to a whole new level. It doesn’t help being bombarded on the news with horror stories. You can turn off the news but it’s still everywhere on social media, often a lifeline for autistic people.

A few days later and my biggest fear is that my wife, a key worker, is still going to work to look after the children of other key workers.

Our two adult children are still going to work as key workers. Fortunately the government has just announced the closure of schools for the majority of students, meaning our three younger children who still live at home will be at less risk. Within a further 24 hours my wife is advised to stay at home as she is asthmatic. She feels tremendous guilt over this but I, perhaps a little selfishly, feel huge relief. All of this helps massively with my extreme anxiety. I’ve been literally terrified and on many occasions have found myself curled up on the floor of whatever room in the house is quietest. This doesn’t mean my sensory overloads and anxiety are under control now that I’m at home all day. Far from it. This is going to take some considerable time but at least at home I can manage them much better. Telephone calls from certain friends/colleagues have helped enormously as they are autism experts and understand what I’m going through. Of course I’m not alone in this. I’ve read online accounts from countless autistic adults who are struggling massively, going through shutdowns, meltdowns and extreme anxiety. I’ve read many stories of autistic children whose parents are struggling to help them cope with the changes in their routines.

If anything I’m playing down how this pandemic is affecting my health but in some ways I’m fortunate. I’m reading social media posts from non autistic people who are struggling with being at home and not being allowed to go to the pub or the gym. It’s like I’ve been practising for this my whole life. Self distancing and isolation? No problem! I’ve literally not left the house now for twelve days and instead of having a negative impact on my mental health, it has helped me enormously. One of our younger children is also autistic, she is also finding being at home no problem at all. Whilst we do both like our routines we also feel most comfortable at home. Being in the middle of a pandemic and on balance, this is the best place for us at the moment.

I’m being regularly asked for tips on how to cope as somebody who is autistic. The problem is that no two autistic people are the same. However, we do have a tendency to have intense interests and at times like this they can help our mental well being enormously.

I wake each morning breathless, dizzy, nauseous and sweating (how typical that we have a virus outbreak where many of the symptoms are similar to anxiety).

I’ve discovered that if I go upstairs, put on headphones and play my electronic drums that within around twenty minutes my breathing becomes more controlled and my anxiety lessens. The key is finding that interest that results in enough focus that you can temporarily forget the outside world. For me it’s also the perfect excuse to watch even more Star Trek than usual. It has also helped a lot by limiting my news intake to just one read of the headlines once a day. And, very importantly, stop reading all the dubious links that Karen on Facebook has posted. Once a day from a reliable source is enough.

The one good thing about having to stay indoors is all the time I get to spend with my children. We’re doing things we don’t usually have time for and it’s wonderful. The only thing I’ve drawn the line at is joining them doing the Joe Wicks exercises. The pandemic might not kill me but that man will! Seriously though, the things that people are putting online for children is amazing. People are really making the most of things and it’s not hard to see that it’s bringing out the best in many people. I’ve even found myself watching those Gary Barlow webcam duets and if his purpose was to make me smile then he succeeded. Do whatever helps, whatever makes you forget, however briefly. Above all, stay safe.

If you would like more information or require support please get in touch by using the form below, or emailing york@theretreatclinics.org.uk or manchester@theretreatclinics.org.uk.

Exam Stress: A Guide for Parents and Carers

There is a large focus in schools placed upon SATS, mock exams and actual GCSE’s. This combined with the impact of a series of lockdowns and restrictions has led to an increase in exam stress for many children and young people. Here are some tips for parents and carers to help you think about how you can support your child:

Teachers usually give children and young people the message that working hard for your exams is important. For some children who are already feeling anxious this can lead to them putting too much extra pressure on themselves.

Talk to your child about how they are feeling and let them know that their feelings are okay and common for many children. Let your child know that their exam results are not the be all and end all, and you love them regardless of their results. Some young children may want to draw a picture or write a story about a character who has exams.

2. Help your child create a sense of balance

In order to achieve the best results, it is important to have a balance of relaxation time, exercise, socialising and healthy eating. An Olympic trainer would advise an athlete to have rest days, and to have a combination or shorter and longer training days, as they know that this is the best way for the athlete to achieve their full potential.

A child or athlete who works too hard without proper balance and rest breaks will potentially wear themselves out.
Try help your child draw up a timetable that includes some revision time, relaxation time, physical activity time, and social time.

3. Do some sport or get some physical exercise

The research is clear, short bouts of moderate, physical activity are great at improving concentration immediately following exercise.

There are two aspects to concentration. The first is sustained attention, in which we’re able to focus on certain pieces of information for prolonged periods of time. The second is executive function, which is our ability to think and make decisions at a complex level. Try this for yourself and I think you will experience the results!

4. Creative approaches to learning and revision

Children have different learning styles. Just sitting down and trying to remember information becomes boring for many people.

You can liven this up in different ways. You could so this by using different coloured pens and stickers, you could interview each other, or pretend to be presenting a TV programme, try drawing pictures or creating visual representations such as doing a Mindmap or poster.

Have a go at involving the senses – walk around the room, sit in different positions, and even sing!

5. Each child is a unique individual

Help your child realise their own individual strengths and encourage them not to compare themselves to others. Who knows if an apple is better than a banana? They are just different, and we need all kinds of people and fruit in this world!

Some children are good at making things or fixing things, some are good at sport, dancing or singing, some people are academic, some people learn when they are relating to people – others learn best on their own. Let’s value difference and diversity.

Quote for the day!
‘Don’t be pushed around by the fears in your mind. Be led by the dreams in your heart’

Help your child be led by their dreams and where they want to be in the future. Ask them to visualise what they would like to be doing in the future and ask them to describe this to you. So often we do things to try and avoid our fears.

If you have tried these tips but would like to find out more about how we could help your child deal with stress, please get in touch by using the form below, or emailing york@theretreatclinics.org.uk or manchester@theretreatclinics.org.uk.

How SATs make me feel: A blog by Molly-Rose

The current UK education system has several levels of testing depending on key stage or educational year, with SATs beginning in Year 2. There can be a lot of focus placed upon the importance of these exam results in schools, which can lead to children and young people at any age feeling an overwhelming pressure to do well and achieve top marks.

Whilst exams can help your child to take a step up to the next academic level, it is important to remember that results are not the only measure of success. Exams are not the be all end all and they can always be retaken, remind your child of what they have achieved already and that there is more to life than exam grades.

Molly-Rose, age 11, shared with us her thoughts on the pressure of SATs and how it makes her feel…

“Sats make me feel worried and nervous because they are quite a big test at my age (11). I get a bit sad and annoyed with myself when I don’t do very in tests well, because I really care about my results, and I want to do well. I work really hard at school but sometimes when it comes to tests it is like my brain drains of everything I have learnt.

When I think of SATS, I get a worrying feeling in my tummy because I think they define what ability group I will be put in when I go to secondary school in September. (Mummy and Daddy try to reassure and tell me just to do my best, try my hardest and they are always proud of me)

Despite doing lots of practice with my Daddy (Mummy isn’t very good at Maths) I still get very nervous. I mainly worry about the Maths papers; however, I am extremely grateful to my Daddy because he believes in me and helps me no matter. In the first lockdown, I really struggled with Maths but my Dad supported me so much, even when I got a bit fed up and really grumpy with him. Thanks to his encouragement and support I feel a little more confident about them now.

However, I wish we didn’t have to do them and the pressure for an 11 year is unnecessary. These tests are measurements for the school and the government and not my ability.”

If you are worried about how your child coping with exam stress and pressure, one of our children’s psychotherapists has shared her top tips on helping your child cope with exam-related stress here:

Our team of experienced therapists can help young adults, children and families to guide them through these kind of worries by providing bespoke therapeutic support.

All of our therapies are available at our clinics in York, Manchester and online. If you would like to find out more about the services we offer, please get in touch by using the form below, or emailing york@theretreatclinics.org.uk or manchester@theretreatclinics.org.uk.

The Impact of Breast Cancer – How Psychosexual Therapy Can Help

Here at The Retreat, we understand how the diagnosis of breast cancer can be a traumatic, life changing event and has a considerable psychological impact.

Often the only focus initially is to survive. After successful treatment however, other areas of life begin to hold significance again and sex can be part of this. Breast Cancer (and other Cancers) change the way we view our body, how our body feels and how we see our attractiveness. Sex can then become something to be avoided rather than an enjoyable, intimate experience. This then may have consequences for your sexual relationship, and you might feel more isolated and alone.

Psychosexual therapy can help you explore these issues and more. Exploring how you see yourself sexually can help you address the psychological blocks to sexual recovery. Likewise, your sexual partner might also have been affected and they might not know how to talk about what they feel or how to help you. Psychosexual therapy can be conducted with both you and your partner to resolve these problems.

Psychosexual therapy offers individual clients, or couples, the opportunity to discuss their sex life and any problems that they are experiencing. Common sexual problems that psychosexual therapy can help resolve are low libido, sexual pain, lack of orgasm, body image concerns, sexual impact of the menopause and erectile or ejaculation difficulties. Sometimes these problems are caused by psychological or relational factors, but they might also be related to medical intervention.

We have an experienced team of therapists at The Retreat who have worked in both a therapeutic and medical (hospital) setting, allowing them to provide support and a tailored programme that can be effective, regardless of the cause of psychosexual problems.

This is a confidential service, delivered with sensitivity and understanding.

All of our therapies are available at our clinics in York, Manchester and online. If you would like to find out more please get in touch by using the form below, or emailing york@theretreatclinics.org.uk or manchester@theretreatclinics.org.uk.

Helplines and Contact Details for the Christmas Period

There are many things that can make us feel low or hopeless and these feelings can come and go, but it’s important to take them seriously. If you are having thoughts of suicide, are harming yourself or have thoughts about self-harm, it’s important to tell someone. These thoughts and feelings can be complex, frightening and confusing, but you do not have to struggle alone. Whilst The Retreat is not able to provide crisis services, if you feel unable to cope or keep yourself safe please contact one of the following organisations to get support right away.

Age UK (England) – tips for if you are feeling down at Christmas – https://www.ageuk.org.uk/discover/2020/12/what-to-do-if-youre-feeling-down-at-christmas/

Beat – Offers information and advice on eating disorders, and runs a supportive online community. Also provides a directory of support services at HelpFinder, www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk

0808 801 0677 (adult helpline)

0808 801 0711 (youthline)

0808 801 0811 (studentline)

Beat’s answers to five questions you may have about Christmas with an eating disorder – https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/your-stories/five-questions-about-christmas-eating-disorder/

Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) – Provides listening services, information and support for anyone who needs to talk, including a web chat. 0800 58 58 58 www.thecalmzone.net

Combat Stress – Treatment and support for armed forces veterans who have mental health problems. 0800 1381 619 www.combatstress.org.uk

The Compassionate Friends – Provides support to bereaved families after the death of a child. 0345 123 2304 www.tcf.org.uk, The Compassionate Friends’ tips for coping with Christmas can be found here https://www.tcf.org.uk/2020-coping-with-christmas/

Cruse Bereavement Care – Information and support after a bereavement. 0808 808 1677 www.cruse.org.uk, Cruse’s information on coping with grief at Christmas https://www.cruse.org.uk/understanding-grief/effects-of-grief/christmas/

LGBT Foundation– Advice, support and information for people identifying as LGBTQ+.0345 3 30 30 30 https://lgbt.foundation/ LGBT Foundation’s Christmas survival guide can be found here https://lgbt.foundation/news/lgbt-christmas-survival-guide/257

Men’s Advice Line – Confidential advice and support for men who have experienced domestic violence and abuse by a current or ex-partner or family member. 0808 801 0327 www.mensadviceline.org.uk

Money Helper – Provides free and impartial money advice. 0800 138 7777; 18001 0800 915 4622 (textphone); www.moneyhelper.org.uk, Money Helper’s information on money, saving and Christmas can be found here https://www.moneyhelper.org.uk/en/savings/types-of-savings/saving-money-for-christmas

The National Association for People Abused in Childhood (NAPAC) Supports adult survivors of any form of childhood abuse. Offers a helpline, email support and local services. 0808 801 0331 www.support@napac.org.uk NAPAC’s advice on surviving Christmas as a survivor can be found here https://napac.org.uk/surviving-christmas-as-a-survivor/

National Domestic Abuse Helpline Free 24-hour helpline for women who have experienced domestic abuse and violence, with all female advisors. Also offers a live chat and can help to find refuge accommodation. Run by the domestic violence charity Refuge. 0808 2000 247 www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk

NHS 111 Non-emergency medical help and advice for people in England. 111 www.111.nhs.uk

NHS UK Information about health problems and treatments, including details of local NHS services in England. www.nhs.uk

Relate Provides help and support with relationships, including counselling and telephone support 0300 003 0396 www.relate.org.uk , Relate’s tips for a stress-free Christmas can be found here https://www.relate.org.uk/blog/six-tips-stress-free-christmas

Samaritans Samaritans are open 24/7 for anyone who needs to talk. You can visit some Samaritans branches in person. 116 123 (freephone) email jo@samaritans.org www.samaritans.org

Samaritans’ Christmas coping information can be found here https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/if-youre-having-difficult-time/if-youre-finding-things-hard-this-christmas/

Shout Confidential 24/7 text service offering support if you are in crisis and need immediate help.

85258 (text SHOUT) www.giveusashout.org Shout’s tips on feeling less alone over the festive season can be found here https://giveusashout.org/latest/thank-you-for-reminding-me-that-im-not-alone/

The Silver Line Provides support, information, friendship and advice for older people (over 55) who may feel lonely or isolated. 0800 4 70 80 90 www.thesilverline.org.uk

Stand Alone Charity supporting adults who are estranged (not in contact) from their family. www.standalone.org.uk, Standalone’s festive guide to the Christmas period can be found here https://www.standalone.org.uk/guides/festive-guide/

Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide (SOBS) Emotional and practical support and local groups for anyone bereaved or affected by suicide. 0300 111 5065 www.uk-sobs.org.uk

Switchboard Listening services, information and support for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender communities. 0300 330 0630 www.switchboard.lgbt

Tommy’s Information and support for people affected by stillbirth, miscarriage and premature birth. www.tommys.org Tommy’s advice on coping with Christmas when you’ve suffered the loss of a baby can be found here https://www.tommys.org/about-us/charity-news/coping-christmas-when-you-have-lost-baby

The Trussell Trust Emergency food and support for people in need. Includes a searchable list of local foodbanks. www.trusselltrust.org

What is Mindfulness?

One of the most effective ways to build mental strength is through mindfulness – being attentive and aware in the present, without distractions such as past thoughts or future worries.

Many athletes use mindfulness techniques as part of their training, with Michael Jordan (arguably one of the greatest basketball players of all time) commenting that mindfulness meditation enabled him to ‘prepare to face whatever comes next’. There’s also good evidence to suggest that mindfulness based cognitive therapy (MBCT), is effective at reducing symptoms of anxiety, depression and stress, and this treatment is even NICE approved.

Mindfulness can come in many forms; this festive period why not incorporate a mindful activity? If you are able, perhaps a mindful walk- paying attention to what you can see, hear and smell. Or perhaps choosing an element of your usual everyday routine as an opportunity to practice mindfulness, such as brushing your teeth, or making your favourite warm drink, and doing so completely in the moment. If your mind wanders to thinking about something else (as it often does!) just gently bring it back to what you are mindfully focusing on. There- you have been mindful!

At The Retreat Clinics, we are dedicated to helping people improve their mental health and wellbeing. Our experienced counsellors, psychotherapists and psychologists can help find the right therapy for you.

The Menopause – how therapy can help you to manage its effects.

The Menopause. An inevitable part of life, or a seemingly never-ending ordeal? At times, it can feel like both – but if you are one of the lucky ones that don’t experience a host of debilitating symptoms, then it is unlikely you will relate to much of what I have to say here.

The menopause is indicated by the ending of having a monthly menstrual period and, for many, this is its one saving grace. Hot flushes and night sweats are the most common features of the menopause after periods stop. Duvet on, duvet off, duvet on, duvet off is a common night-time experience for many. There may be times when you dress warmly to face the cold outside, then find your internal heating system goes into overdrive and you need to peel away the layers.

These also leads to sleep disturbance, which can then impact on mood. The grumpy, tired you becomes a common feature, perhaps one which sends our nearest and dearest running for cover to avoid getting caught in the wake. But mood is also another significant part of the menopause: many will attest to the debilitating anxiety and depressive mood that can afflict a menopausal person. Often, we can feel a sense of losing ourselves and this can be a very frightening position to be in.

And what about sex? The previous enjoyment of sex can get downgraded into an uncomfortable and painful experience. Vaginal dryness is common and can cause significant discomfort, which leads to sex avoidance. Our poor partners don’t know which way to turn – are we grumpy tired partner, anxious, depressed partner or don’t-come-near-me-with-a-barge-pole partner?

Putting irony aside, the menopause is no laughing matter and can have serious consequences for how we see ourselves, and how we are with others. I’d like to tell you that there is hope.

Here at The Retreat Clinics, we can offer you an empathetic, professional and bespoke service to help you navigate through this stage of your life.

Through our CBT programme, we can help you to manage your mood and anxiety. We also offer psychosexual therapy, which can help to support your sexual intimacy and management of those awful hot flushes.

We work in an inclusive way for all individuals or couples, irrespective of ethnic origin, gender, age, sexual orientation, living arrangements and disability.

What is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), and how can it help?

What Is CBT?
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is an evidence-based talking therapy – meaning that there is research supporting its use and evidencing positive outcomes for many clients.

Traditional CBT explores our thoughts, feelings, how our bodies feel and our behaviours. It seeks to identify and understand patterns within these areas, as well as gaining insight into how they influence each other.

CBT Therapists spend the majority of their work with clients in the present, exploring how our behaviours or thinking patterns in certain situations and areas of our lives could be maintaining our difficulties. There may be some discussion about your past and history however the focus on the work is helping you in the here and now. CBT supports clients to find alternative ways to approach difficult situations and to reduce distress.

What can CBT help with?
CBT is one of the recommended interventions for anxiety and depression by the National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence (NICE), however, as with all therapies, is not a ‘one size fits all’. CBT therapists have understanding of various different approaches and methods to work with a variety of different presentations however, some of the reasons people access CBT for are:

feeling depressed or low in mood,
feeling anxiety or worrying frequently,
OCD or struggling with repetitive behaviours and habits
phobias
feeling anxious in social situations,
experiencing panic attacks or being worried about your health,
Post traumatic stress disorder, or experiencing stress or anxiety relating to a particularly difficult situation.

CBT works well with adults and children and usually consists of weekly sessions for between 8 and 20 sessions.

What do CBT sessions look like?
In the initial stages of therapy, your CBT Therapist will work with you to develop a formulation – this can be understood as a working model of your difficulties. The aim of this is to build a shared understanding of what is happening for you, and to identify areas that could change the cycle that may be maintaining difficulties.

CBT, as its name suggests, works with cognitions (thoughts) and/or behaviours – this could mean that your sessions involve various different approaches such as:

Identifying and challenging negative automatic thoughts (for example “everyone is judging me” or “if I don’t do this, something bad will happen”)
Understanding your current behaviours and identifying possible alternative behaviours which may be helpful (such as increasing activities that are important to you and align with your values, rather than socially withdrawing when feeling low)
Developing behavioural experiments to safely and supportively gather evidence to support or refute thoughts and beliefs. CBT is an active therapy, that works towards your goals with the support of a therapist.

You are likely to be asked to do tasks outside of the therapy session to help support you in developing your new skills – however these will always be developed in collaboration with you. You are very much in the driving seat!

I’ve had CBT before, and it wasn’t what you’re describing…

This could be for many reasons; there are various forms of CBT and ‘third wave’ approaches which may look a little different to traditional CBT. Additionally, some therapists do short courses in CBT and use ‘CBT informed approaches’ which, will look different to a traditional and ‘pure’ CBT approach.

If you are ever in doubt about the kind of therapy you are having or your therapist’s approach, you are always welcome to ask your therapist who will be happy to explain. You may also find the BABCP website a helpful place to find out more about CBT.

If you are interested in learning more about CBT, or how it could help an issue you are facing, our team of experienced therapists can talk you through any queries you may have.

International Stress Awareness Week – What is stress and how can we help ourselves when dealing with it?

This year, around 1 in 6 adults in the UK experienced some form of depression. Of these adults, 83% reported that their mental wellbeing was most commonly affected by feeling stressed or anxious. (Coronavirus and depression in adults, Great Britain. Office for National Statistics, July – August 2021)

What is stress and how does it feel?

Stress is our emotional and physical response to pressure. We feel stressed when we have too many demands, and have too few resources to cope. That pressure can include life events, illness (ourselves or a loved one) our living conditions, work, home and family, study, lack of some necessity. On top of all these potential life stressors other factors include; neglecting ourselves by putting everything and everyone else first, doing too much, and setting ourselves impossible expectations and the ‘shoulds’ and ‘musts’ rules we live our everyday life by.

So when we consider all these factors, is it any wonder that so many of us are feeling stressed right now?! During the past 18 months, we have been living amongst a global pandemic that has resulted in many changes and restrictions.

Whatever your situation is at the moment; your living arrangements, your working situation, supporting immediate and the wider family – this can be a lot to deal with right now!

How can we tell that we / or others are stressed:

Psychological Signs	Emotional Signs	Physical Signs	Behavioural Signs
• Depression & Anxiety • Insomnia • Worrying • Lack of concentration	• Tearful • Irritable • Angry • Lack of confidence	• Aches and pains • Constipation / diarrhoea • Weight loss or gain • Heart palpitations	• Increased alcohol use • Social withdrawal • Relationship problems • Aggressive outbursts

It’s important that we can recognise these symptoms and start to reduce some of the demands and increase our resources to help us cope with stressful events.

What can we do to help

1. Consider what demands you can reduce, or what you can ask others to help with.

Make a list of priorities and decide how you can limit your responsibilities and what doesn’t need your attention right now. Remind yourself that it is ok the say ‘no’

2. Make time for yourself each day.

When we feel stressed, we tend to focus on activities where we feel a sense of achievement, however it is important to spend time doing things that are relaxing, enjoyable and fun.

3. Journaling.

Write down your thoughts and feelings to get them out of your head.

4. Take everything one step at a time.

Try to take everything just take one step at a time by focusing on what we can control now. We often feel –stressed when we try to plan too far ahead.

5. Learn and practice positive self-talk.

Encourage yourself, tell yourself: ‘I can do this, I’ve done it before, this will pass’ – find a positive coping statement that works for you, write it down and memorise it for when you need it.

6. Relaxation techniques.

Try different ones and find one that works for you, this may be meditation or mindfulness. There are many apps that can guide you through these techniques such as Headspace and Calm.

7. Stay connected with others.

Whether this be arranging regular visits, catch-ups or scheduling in a weekly video or phone call with your loved ones.

8. Exercise and eat a balanced diet.

Engaging in physical exercise is great for your physical and mental health, whether this be attending a gym class, or simply getting outdoors for a walk in the fresh air.

Ensuring that your diet includes plenty of fruit and vegetables and remembering to drink water can be also highly beneficial to reducing stress. Often, when we are stressed we tend to crave high fat / carb foods and also drink more caffeine and alcohol, however this can compound the problem.

9. Be kind to yourself.

The most important step! We have been living in extraordinary times so it’s important to take the time to be kind together and remember that you are doing your best in your current situation.

10. Talk to someone.

Talking to someone else about how you’re feeling can often feel like a weight off your shoulders, perhaps this could be someone that you are close to, your family or friends, or anyone who you feel comfortable with.

If you would prefer to speak to someone with professional experience, we have qualified therapists who can help you to understand and manage symptoms of stress.

ADHD Awareness Month: ADHD diagnosis for older adults

In recent years, Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) has received increased recognition and understanding. Generally, people are moving away from thinking of ADHD as a “naughty boy syndrome” towards a better, more rounded understanding of how ADHD can present in different people. We still have a long way to go, but awareness of ADHD in schools is increasing and early recognition and interventions are leading to improvements in management of symptoms for many young people. Somewhat less talked about is the steady increase of ADHD diagnosis in adults nearing or at retirement age.

This month is ADHD awareness month, a great opportunity to shine a spotlight on diagnosis on ADHD in older adults who are approaching retirement age or retired at the point of diagnosis. As an assistant psychologist working in ADHD diagnosis at The Retreat in York, I would like to make it clear that whilst I have experience of assessing and speaking with a number of these adults, I don’t have first-hand experience of living with a diagnosis of ADHD. The best way to understand anything is always to speak with someone with personal experience. Having said that, I hope that my experiences of speaking with and assessing many adults with ADHD can provide some insight into the experience.

When I talk about my job, I’m often asked why someone would wait until retirement for an ADHD assessment. It’s true that as a neurodevelopmental disorder, ADHD symptoms will have been longstanding since early childhood. However, there are many reasons why ADHD may not have been recognised or diagnosed when someone was younger. I have spoken with many older people who struggled significantly in school but were told that “ADHD is just something that boys have” or that whilst they were finding themselves frequently becoming distracted and struggling to focus on tasks, it couldn’t be ADHD “because they weren’t running around shouting”. It’s also widely recognised that major life changes and transitions such as retirement can be challenging, particularly for people with neurodivergent traits. Adults leaving a structured supportive job and rigid daily routine may find the prospect of large amounts of unstructured time during retirement particularly challenging, and this may highlight difficulties that were previously managed with well-practiced strategies.

Generally, when adults are seeking assessment later in life, it’s because their difficulties weren’t picked up on or considered to be ‘disruptive enough’ when they were younger. Often these adults are not particularly loud, boisterous, and active, but may experience hyperactivity in a different, quieter way, less visible externally but with a higher emotional cost. I’ve assessed many adults who are hugely successful in their careers or personal lives, but can find themselves struggling to remain on task, drifting off during conversations, or devoting large chunks of time and attention to unrelated topics. They may not appear to be externally hyperactive but instead may spend lots of time daydreaming and have particularly active imaginations or constant streams of thought. It has been argued that different diagnostic criteria may be needed for adults over the age of 50.

Receiving a diagnosis of ADHD can be a hugely emotional experience for anyone, but arguably particularly for adults who feel they have lived much of their life “feeling different but not knowing why” or having their difficulties dismissed or downplayed by others. For some adults, the diagnosis comes with a huge sense of relief, a feeling of understanding how they have navigated life, and a newfound community of people with similar thought processes or life experiences. For others there is an overwhelming sense of frustration for their younger self who could have understood themselves and been supported better. Receiving a neurodevelopmental diagnosis is very much an individual journey. For some, it can feel like resolving a life chapter, and for others it can feel like starting a completely new book.

If you have been affected by any of the topics discussed in this article, you may find the following resources useful:

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder-adhd/

https://chadd.org/adhd-news/adhd-news-adults/more-older-adults-receiving-a-new-adhd-diagnosis/

https://adhduk.co.uk/

https://www.adhdfoundation.org.uk/

If this blog has led you to have questions about ADHD, or you would like to find out more about how we can support people living with ADHD, please get in touch by using the form below, or emailing york@theretreatclinics.org.uk or manchester@theretreatclinics.org.uk.

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