What makes this period difficult for most individuals is that this season should ideally be a time for slowing down and catching up with family members. However, if you have ADHD or think you might, you may discover that this period can be very stressful.
Relief may give way to feelings of pressure building, overwhelm, feelings of being ‘not doing the festive season right.’ But if so, know that this is not uncommon and not a sign of failure by any means. There are many compelling reasons why the festive season may be particularly tough for the ADHD brain.
This advice is aimed at adults who are awaiting a diagnosis for ADHD, as well as those who live with the condition and are on medication.
The lead-up to the festive season, and pressure, procrastination, and burnout.
In the days before the festivities begin, it is common for adults with ADHD to witness this kind of phenomenon:
- Too many deadlines at the same time
- Trouble prioritising what really need to be done
- Putting things off – then experiencing panic in trying to catch up
- Working harder, but feeling less effective.
ADHD affects planning, organising, or initiation of tasks. When all tasks feel like they are of high priority, the brain goes into shutdown instead of action modes.
When the festive season comes, instead of feeling relaxed, people may feel:
- Mentally exhaustion
- Guilty about unfinished work
- Preoccupied and unable to switch off
- Feels low in mood or irritable
- Feeling burnt out
It is definitely hard for a person to relax when their mind is still full of activity, though.
Socialising, drinking, and acting on impulsivity
Social engagements will often have a significant influence during the festive period and most social engagements will centre around alcohol. For adults with ADHD, this can be tricky. Inhibition and impulsivity are traits that are associated with ADHD, and alcohol use will lower the inhibition level even more. People may find themselves:
- Drinking more than intended
- Saying or doing things you later regret
- Taking risks you wouldn’t normally take
- Feeling emotionally reactive
If you are on ADHD medication
Alcohol still affects you even while on stimulant medication. The effect is not counteracted. Moreover, the drugs will sometimes mask the intoxication effect itself. The consequence will lead to excessive consumption.
“Combining alcohol with ADHD medications may cause:”
- Increase impulsivity
- Disrupt sleep
- Put extra strain on the heart
- Affect judgment concerning driving and personal safety
What you may want to do is choose your limits, arrange transport, or choose alcohol-free options, it is about self-care, not restriction. Please speak to your doctor about your medication and the steps to take regarding drinking alcohol.
Festivities, Disrupted Routine, and Family Matters
Many adults with ADHD may not appreciate how much they need routine until they no longer have it. Employed or in education, they have a routine as well as deadlines to help motivate them. When that suddenly stops, the days can feel uncomfortably unstructured.
This can show up as:
- Restlessness or boredom
- Difficulty regulating emotions
- Feeling “lost” or unproductive
- Increased irritability or low mood
Family time can stir things up
Spending more time with family can also bring old patterns back to the surface. Long-standing misunderstandings, unresolved frustrations, or conversations about past difficulties may reappear, especially if ADHD has affected relationships over many years.
Even positive comments can turn out to be triggers when you are already emotionally drained.
Practical ways to take care of yourself during the festivities
Be gentle on yourself
It’s a genuinely tough time of year on the ADHD brain. Having struggles does not mean that you are lazy, unappreciative, or doing something wrong.
Try reframing the question from:
“Why can’t I cope like everyone else?”
to
“What does my brain need at this moment?”
Maintain a gentle structure
You do not need a structured schedule for this project:
- Regular sleep and meals
- Adhering to a medicine routine,
- One or two simple “anchors” per day (e.g., a walk, one task, one connection)
Use your social energy wisely
- The ability to say no and leave on time
- Not all invitations require a yes
- Implement recovery time after social outings
Be intentional about alcohol
- Define your limits before going out
- Alternate with non-alcoholic beverages
- Don’t depend on willpower alone
- Do not drive if you’re over the limit
Talk openly – where it feels safe
Sharing with the people you trust what you need from them or how you can help yourself will take some of the pressure off. This could mean letting them know that you need quiet time or just being straight with them that you are finding things more difficult than you thought you would.
Take responsibility without guilt.
ADHD: Because of this, it’s harder to do these things – it doesn’t mean that you don’t care. Focus on repair and not self-blame. Small and thoughtful actions make a big difference.
Reach out for help if you feel you need it
If emotions become unbearable, relationships become challenged, and/or alcohol and/or impulsive behaviours become hard to control, it is essential that a helping hand be sought. A professional, licensed therapist and/or coach can be a huge help and especially during times when change is occurring.
A final word
The festive period is not a trial by which your competence in managing or measuring your level of appreciate is determined. It is a perfect maelstrom of challenges for the average adult with ADHD.’
To do “well” this season isn’t to do more; it’s to be self-aware, plan out of compassion, and place a high emphasis on safety and balance.
If you are waiting for an assessment and find yourself in this description, simply recognising this is a big step.
References
- NICE (2018, updated 2023). ADHD: diagnosis and management (NG87)
- NHS. ADHD in adults
- Barkley, R. A. Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
- Kooij et al. (2019). European consensus statement on adult ADHD
- Wilens & Morrison (2011). ADHD and substance use disorders